A Brothers Love
Who was my brother Tony?
When I think about my brother, the first thing I think of……his smile….he had these dimples, and everyone sees them and I was so jealous of them….He had a contagious laugh, and would get so excited about everything.
There are so many elements to who Tony was. Tony and I fought a lot when we were younger, but Tony was always there to protect me. He was a lot Stronger than I was when we were young, and if anyone was mean to me he was always there.
Growing up we used to do the stuff that kids would do…Sword fight with broomsticks, mow lawns so that we could pay to go roller-skating. Sometimes we would sleep in each others rooms and talk and talk and talk. We made our mom a mother's day card with glue and toothpicks and even tried to bake her a cake. We snuck into the gifts under the tree at Christmas, thinking that we were so smart and unwrapping them to see what we were getting and then wrapping them up perfectly…or so we thought. Our mom always had us figured out!
I have never had more fun with anyone in my whole entire life than I had with my brother and I don't think I ever will. Tony was my best friend and we always knew that we would be there for each other.
While Tony and I may have fought a lot when we were little, when we got older things changed.
Just two weeks ago I was in Grand Rapids and Tony paid someone $90 to drive him just 20 miles to come and see me. I was so excited to see him that I started crying. He kept saying it was the most important thing to him…and he was so excited. He kept saying I wouldn't have missed it for the world. I have been waiting for this for so long….. I am so excited to see you. Of course even with how excited to see each other, it was still Tony I was dealing with and he couldn't help but give me a little jab and tell me to stop crying! I loved him for it and I wont ever forget his coming to see me. Unfortunately it was the last time we were going to see each other. And I thank god that we got to share how important we are to each other on that day
As kids we may have fought, but as an adult he was my best friend. He was the only one besides my mom that I could always count on. Where it used to be that I would be annoyed when we were younger having him tag along, I would give anything to have him tag along with me now. I wish that we had more time as adults to be experiencing the relationship that we were growing into. I miss him already.
When Tony found out he was going to be a father he was scared. He wanted to be a great father for his son, to be there for him in the best possible way while Chase was growing up. He wanted Chase to have a better life than he had. He wanted to give him more, just like our mom worked hard to give us more.
My mom said that by having Chase it helped Tony to become a better person, to become a man. And she was right. He became a father and a man in all the right ways. And he was there for Chase and he loved his son and wanted to be there to protect and provide for him forever.
While I have lost my brother physically , I haven't lost him spiritually. I feel Tony is with me…and I know he is now with my grandfather, so I know he is not alone.
And we have Chase with us. Who is truly Tony's son. He has his smile, his energy and his ability to get away with things. He has that devil in him! He is so smart for being 3 years old.
I want Chase to know that his dad loved him and I wish that he was going to be here to see his son grow up and become a man.
I want Chase to know that his dad loved him and that his love will live on forever through me and his family. I know that he is going to be able to do everything that Tony dreamed of doing. Tony had just begun on the road to making a success of himself, motivated by his son. It makes me sad that Chase will not get to know the man that loved him so much and was so committed to providing for him.
And now I have a commitment that I need to make to my brother. I am committed to making sure that Chase know how much his father loved him, how important he was to him and to know the wonderful father and brother who I now miss so much.